Daddio is the breakthrough script by Christy Hall - author of Get Home Safe.
After loving Get Home Safe I decided to have a look at her first script.
Daddio is a very unique script. Christy breaks a lot of rules with this script - but less so than in her second script. Oddly enough she follows a lot of rules in this script. I'm not sure if she knows she's breaking the rules though, which is a little dangerous. If you don't know why your script is successful you can't know how to replicate its success.
CONCEPT
The concept here is very simple. A 20 something lady gets a cab ride from JFK to midtown Manhattan. There are a few flashbacks, but 95% of the film is set in the cab. That right there is ballsy. Setting an entire story in a cab is a very hard thing to do, let alone do well.
But the thing is - Christy succeeds. This script is very powerful.
Would this script do well at the box office? Without a big name carrying it - like an actual A-lister - like Emma Stone - I don't think so. It's not a CINEMA EXPERIENCE film. I think it would have a hard time making more than a couple of million at the box office. Now that doesn't mean this couldn't be a successful film.
If the film was made for a low budget - less than $3m - then I can see it doing really well on VOD and Netflix (etc) sales. You could also factor in a short run, limited release at the cinema to boost revenue.
This film has the potential to become the next Frances Ha. A word of mouth style film that goes to cult status and could be a huge launchpad for the two lead actors and director.
CONCEPT RATING - 9/10
CONCEPT TIP
While I'm sure there are many people out there who just don't get this script and its appeal - I think the concept is very clever. It is a very familiar and very relatable concept - having a very deep conversation with an NYC cab driver. I think anyone who has ridden for a long time in a cab in NYC has experienced the unique conversation that can take place between rider and driver. It doesn't even have to be a cabbie in NYC. There are cab drivers all over the world that are equally engaging.
The relatability factor of this film is huge.
Secondly, this story actually follows a pretty solid hero's journey. The lead lady in this story - GIRLIE - has a flaw. She has a huge flaw. She is in love with a married man who is essentially stringing her along and using her for sex.
Throughout the course of the story she needs to learn the errors of her way, and to do this she needs to confront her past, she needs to understand and accept her relationship with her father.
While this might not be a thriller or horror or sci-fi - the premise is so strong it doesn't need genre to carry the story - the base drama is strong enough. A young woman confused in life comes to confront her past and her bad relationship through a conversation with a seasoned cab driver.
Hollywood is looking for EMOTIONAL STORIES. If your story fails to connect with the audience on an emotional level your film is very likely to fail. Especially if you don't have a huge budget to dazzle audiences with special effects.
If your story has a budget of less than $10m, be sure to write a story and characters that will engage your audience's emotions.
Here's the second tip - make it realistic. If you pile on the emotion too much - your audience will check out. Girlie is in a bad situation and she needs help to understand that - but her situation isn't terrible - she's not being abused, she's not being raped or something equally horrific - her pains are real and relatable.
FORM
Form is not Christy Hall's strong suit. She breaks a lot of the screenwriting layout and writing rules. There are form rules in screenwriting for a reason. You are not writing something to be read. You are writing a blueprint of something that will be SEEN. Thus, you must ONLY WRITE THAT WHICH CAN BE SEEN. ALL ELSE IS CHEATING.
Christy's screenplays tend to read as though they're half a novel, half a screenplay. They're laid out like a screenplay - but there is a lot of writing devoted to that which can't be seen.
A lot of the time Christy TELLS you how a character feels. You can do that in a novel - as that's how novels work. When you tell the reader how a character is feeling in a screenplay - sure, the reader knows - but how does that translate to the screen? How does the audience know what emotion your character is feeling? You let an audience know by having your character SHOW their emotions. If they're happy they laugh, if they're angry they physicalize their anger, if they're nervous they start to twitch, look around erratically, nervously, etc...
The best example of Christy's bad form is the opening of this screenplay. Every page of a screenplay represents 1 minute of screen time. Now in this script, it takes Girlie 10 pages (ten minutes) to get into a cab and for the first piece of conversation to take place. that's ten minutes of NOTHING.
Now, a good director and producer will see that 10 minutes of nothing is a death card for this film - and would insist that these first ten pages be covered in 1 page or 1 minute of screen time.
But here's the thing. Christy should know this. She should know that 10 minutes of someone getting from the airport into a cab is really dull and would turn off a lot of viewers.
This script is about 115 pages long. It would only play as an 80-minute film - max. Anything more than 80 minutes and you're outstaying your welcome. That shows that Christy has overwritten this film by 35 pages. That means this script is 30% overwritten.
It's fine to be overwritten a little, but 30% is far too much.
FORM RATING 4/10
FORM TIP
Understand why screenwriting formatting is important. If you're writing screenplays seriously, you need to adhere to the rules as best you can. Don't overwrite, and make sure everything you write CAN BE SEEN ON SCREEN.
STRUCTURE
Structure here is better than in Christy's second script Get home Safe.
Why?
Because in Daddio the hero - GIRLIE - has a FLAW.
When your hero has an inner journey going on as well as an outer journey your audience will be far more involved.
Ironically, Christy doesn't actually have ANY outer journey here. All she's doing is getting home from the airport in a cab. This script is ALL inner journey. There are no external forces getting in Christy's way here. If the cab driver tried to kidnap her then we'd have an outer journey - but that doesn't happen. Christy's story here is about her understanding that her lover is not good for her. That she is engaged in a detrimental relationship.
The structure here is based on the Hero's Journey. We have the ordinary world where Christy has returned home from a trip to her home town to visit her sister, then the inciting incident is being picked up in the cab. WHY is getting picked up an inciting incident? because it is the event that will TEST HER FLAW.
She has met the cab driver - Clark - who is going to challenge her enough to make her realize that she is in a venomous relationship.
I won't break down the entire screenplay according to the HJ - but it does follow the beat structure - loosely.
But loosely is just fine. Following the HJ beat for beat becomes predictable - it's good to take the HJ and use some of it, but not all of it. Or to shuffle the order of the beats to switch your story up and prevent it from becoming predictable.
STRUCTURE RATING 7/10
STRUCTURE TIP
Give your hero a FLAW. When your hero has a flaw, structuring becomes much easier. You have the inner turmoil to come back to. You can show your hero facing decisions and at first, making the wrong decision, then slowly learning their flaw, accepting their flaw and doing what they can to overcome their flaw. i.e - making the right decision.
CHARACTERS & DIALOGUE
There are two main characters here. Girlie (hero) and Clark (mentor). Both are exceptionally realistic.
Both speak in very different ways. Girlie is reserved and speaks in concise sentences. While Clark is verbose and he speaks very harshly.
CHARACTERS & DIALOGUE RATING 9/10
CHARACTERS & DIALOGUE TIP
Differentiate your characters. If Girlie had been just as brash and verbose as Clark this script wouldn't have been half as good. You need contrast in your characters - when they all speak and sound alike your story becomes very one-note.
VOICE
Christy Hall has a huge amount of x-factor. Her voice is exceptional. Her scripts read like nothing else out there. Sometimes that's a bad thing. Here, it is great.
VOICE RATING 10/10
VOICE TIP
Try not to over think your voice. As you write, don't get caught up in worrying about how other people will perceive your writing. Just let your natural writing personality flow onto the computer screen. The less you over think it, the more real and honest your voice will sound.
PRODUCTION
While I don't see this film becoming a HUGE cinema success, there is definitely an audience for this film. The great thing about this script is it could be shot on a budget of around $100k - and you would still have a great film. Up that budget to around the $3m mark and you've got an A-lister working with a break out director and you'll have a VERY successful film on your hands.
PRODUCTION RATING 9/10
PRODUCTION TIP
If you're trying to break into the film world and you want to create your own film then a screenplay like this is exactly what you need.
Honestly, you could shoot this film with a ZERO budget. If you had good enough relations with a micro-film-crew you could turn this into a film without paying anyone.
This is the kind of script/film that would get the creators noticed.
If you're still looking to break in - think INNER JOURNEY - think ultra low budget.
One location, two actors.
The beautiful thing about this script is that it's set in a car in NYC. Often, when people try to come up with once location two actors they set the story in an enclosed space. A warehouse, a room in a house, etc... the problem with this is that it makes for a very dull film visually speaking.
Setting this in a cab - (constantly moving) in NYC - (one of the most visually breathtaking cities on earth) is a stroke of simple genius.
I would invest in this film in a heartbeat.
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