Written by Amy Wang.
The story....
We open on the ubiquitous hook - this scene lets us know the life story that's about to unfold is that of the second wife of media tycoon - Rupert Murdoch. The hook is that Wendi is about to announce something important she and Rupert are going to do together.
As far as hooks go, it's not the greatest. Sure, there's a sense that something really big is about to happen... but it's so short and ambiguous that you don't really know what it's about to be. You also don't really care.
That whole thing about caring becomes a major problem for this script. Not to say I didn't enjoy this script, but I always read with my producers hat on - meaning - I ask myself as I'm reading - would I pay money to see this? Or - is there a large demographic of people out there who would pay money to see this film?
Ultimately - my answer is no.
For a hook opening to work you need to put the hero in a dire situation - preferably one of life or death. But first you need to make us like that hero. This is something this script did not do well throughout - the whole - make me care about our hero thingy. You know, kind of important.
But I digress... back to the story...
The story plays out exactly as you would imagine it would.
Wendi is born into a poor family in China. She's precocious and far more intelligent than her contemporaries. She races ahead in school and longs for the first world comforts of America. In particular she falls in love with fridges.
Weird, I know, but it kind of works, when you think back to the late 70's in China and how even a Fridge was a rare luxury item.
Ironic now, that China is the worlds largest manufacturer and exporter of domestic appliances, but back then there was a severe shortage of fridges leading Wendi to love her some fancy fridge.
Wendi likes a dude at her school, and even though she crushes it academically, apparently big brains is not enough to get this guy interested. Mei ends up hooking up with him. Wendi gets pissed and here begins a rivalry between the two.
Spoiler alert - Wendi goes on to marry Rupert Murdoch and become a stupidly wealthy millionaire - so - you know - Wendi wins in that regard.
But does she win at life?
This screenplay tells us no. Wendi did not win at life.
Wendi meets Jake, an American travelling businessman who happens to be dealing in Wendi's fetish - fridges.
Wendi, being the audacious go-getter that she is manages to become Jake's translator. She crushes a business deal that very likely would have gone south had she not been there, then proceeds to seduce Jake - even though he's married! Shock horror!
This pretty much sums up Wendi. She is determined to succeed no matter who she crushes along the way. This infiltration into Jake's marriage is only the first of many relationships she is willing to manipulate to get her way.
Did I mention she has an affair with British prime mister Tony Blair so she can coerce Tony into lifting import taxes on Chinese products? - No? Well, according to this script, she does.
Jump forward in time and Wendi manages to get Jake to bring her to America. She lives with Jake and his wife and in a somewhat awkward three-way situation the the wife doesn't want.
After a while Jake divorces his wife, then marries Wendi.
Wendi gets a job interning at Rupert Murdoch's Chinese TV company - forces a meeting with Rupert, impresses him, becomes his personal translator, continues to impress him, then gets him to divorce his wife and marry her.
The story then follows her life until she divorces Rupert.
Somewhere in the middle there she forces Rupert to allow her to become a director of MySpace - and her terrible marketing campaign leads to a 93% reduction in share price.
She has two children by Rupert - but manages to alienate herself from them also. She completely ignores her family and at one point she punches a homeless person.
That's when we find out that the opening hook was Wendi gearing up to tell the world that she and Rupert are divorcing.
This script really was a mixed bag. There are many good things going on here and there are a lot of bad things happening.
The biggest problem with this story is EMPATHY. Or rather a massive lack of it.
Even in the opening of the script, before Wendi has become a soulless evil person there's no active positive empathy for her. What's that you say? Please explain active positive empathy...
Ok...
Active positive empathy is when your hero ACTIVELY goes out of their way to do GOOD things for other people.
This is the strongest form of empathy. This is something that Wendi never does. I can not recall one beat where Wendi did something kind for another person that she did not stand to directly benefit from.
There is a shit-tonne of passive positive empathy. That's when bad stuff happens to the hero and we feel sorry for them. Loads of bad stuff happens to Wendi, but that's not enough to make your audience fall in love with your hero.
But that's the thing with this script - Wendi isn't a nice person. She's calculated, determined and willing to crush anyone to get what she wants.
That makes this a hard film to get behind. When you have a hero that isn't likeable in any way it's really difficult to root for them.
After a time I kept reading more from morbid fascination rather than because I really wanted to see how this wonderful person's life unfolds.
According to this script - Wendi is a self serving megalomanic.
Pacing is another thing that this script fails at.
It comes in at 127 pages long.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - if your script comes in longer than 100 pages your running long. If your script comes in at 110 pages you're running really long. If your script comes in over 120 pages - you've got a first draft that needs to be edited back.
One screenwriting maxim that I talk about a lot is START LATE FINISH EARLY.
It's pretty obvious what that means. It means - don't over stay your welcome. Just like a visitor over the holidays that says they'll just be crashing at yours for a night or two and end up staying for two weeks.
You need to know how welcome every one of your scenes are.
Ask yourself - why do I need this scene? Once you've identified the core of your scene, start the scene as close to that beat, then when you've executed that beat - end the scene. Get the hell out of there.
Don't hang around belabouring your point, and don't repeat your point. Just end the scene and move on.
This would be the break out script for the writer Amy Wang. She has no produced feature credits on IMDB and her most recent short film is 29 minutes long.
This is a very common mistake of beginner screen writers. They often overwrite.
The exact same story could have been told here in 100 pages. It would be an easy trim and you wouldn't have to lose any beats of the story. All you'd lose would be lingering scenes that were unnecessary.
The big question that all producers ask is - will this script make money?
The answer is - no.
This is an Indy film. It would do really well on the festival circuit, but there's nothing high concept here - it literally follows the life of the woman who becomes Rupert Murdoch's second wife. Are her achievements impressive - yes - are they impressive enough to warrant spending millions of dollars re-enacting and turning into a film?
I don't believe so.
If you wanted to make this on a million dollars you might see your money back - but an investment of anything more than that would be a risky venture.
THE TAKE AWAY
#1 - make me love your hero. Don't make me kind of like them. Don't think that just because you wrote this character to life that I'm automatically going to love them. You have to make your hero do acts of kindness towards others. That's what hooks an audience. ACTIVE POSITIVE EMPATHY.
#2 - Don't be that annoying guest over the holidays. Don't over stay your welcome. Write concise scenes that make your point then end.
#3 - before writing a script - ask yourself - If you were an investor - would you put money into making your film? - Really - really? Would you? If the answer is no - then move on. Find another idea that would excite an investor into handing over their hard earned cash to make your film.
OVERALL RATING - 6/10
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