Logline: A nameless ex-Nazi captain who navigates the ruins of post-WWII Germany determined to atone for his crimes during the war by hunting down the surviving members of his former SS Death Squad.
Ruin came top of the 2017 Black List.
It was written by Matthew K Firpo and Ryan Firpo.
IMDBPRO has Margot Robbie attached to play the supporting role of Elsa and Matthias Schoenaerts to play the lead role of The Captain.
THE STORY:
Set in Germany six months after the end of WW2, we meet The Captain, a former SS officer who is on a mission to exterminate the remaining members of his SS unit. We join him at the moment that he kills one, then purposefully wounds another from a sniper's position.
The Captain interrogates the wounded SS officer, he's looking for the head of their unit, a man called Richter but the wounded man refuses to give up any information about Richter's whereabouts.
The Captain later discovers a radio broadcasting unit, a place where die-hard Nazi's try to resurrect the Third Reich by broadcasting on a pirate radio frequency across Germany. The Captain attacks two men operating this outpost of the radio station, his vicious interrogation of the men reveals there is a refugee camp nearby where lives a Jewish woman that Richter had 'chosen' to be his sex slave.
The Captain has a new goal, to find this woman in hope of learning Richter's whereabouts. But the radio was on and broadcasting the entire interrogation, which means that anyone listening knows the importance of the woman and where The Captain is heading.
It's a race to get to the woman first.
At the refugee camp, The Captain battles another die heard Nazi and just manages to save the woman - ELSA - together they escape.
It turns out that Elsa had a baby by Richter, but Richter took it from her at birth. Elsa is determined to accompany The Captain on his mission to find and kill Richter.
With their mutual goal established the story unfolds from here. The two go on a spree of revenge killing hunting their way closer to Richter.
The question becomes, will Elsa find her daughter and what will happen if they discover Richter?
INITIAL THOUGHTS:
This is a very powerful script. While the writing is a little heavy and the reading was slower than normal, the story is very powerful, executed with taste.
The last WW2 movie I watched was the Brad Pitt film - Fury.
Fury was almost a celebration of war. It was definitely a celebration of 'heroism'.
This film is the opposite. It reflects upon the horrors of war. It is much closer in tone to Schindler's List than to the film Fury.
CONCEPT
The concept here is good. It is a revenge film - but it is a tasteful revenge film. It is also a very simple story. Two main characters, The Captain and Elsa, and their mission to hunt down and kill Richter.
What made this story unique is that the hero is also a villain. We learn early on that The Captain is a former SS officer. He is responsible for the murder of hundreds if not thousands of innocent souls.
This adds a bittersweetness to the story. You understand the motivation for his revenge killing spree and you respect him for that but at the same time, you hate him as you know that he has committed atrocities no man or woman could ever be forgiven for.
CONCEPT TIP: If the lead character here had been Jewish, or an American officer gong on a revenge killing spree this story wouldn't have gotten half the attention it did. It only takes one little change to a story, one little skew from the norm to elevate your story from the rest. Take the time to consider all the possible permutations of who your lead characters are. Could your story be more unique if your hero was a different gender or a different nationality? Don't get married to your characters, treat them like any other aspect of your script - changeable and expendable in search of the betterment of your overall story.
GOAL/S AND URGENCY:
This script has a very clearly defined and motivated main goal. Find and kill Richter. That is the main overarching goal. Now, one main goal is not enough to hold an entire story together. You need smaller goals that link together like dominos to reach your main end goal.
This script does that very well. At the end of the first sequence there is a new micro goal established - get to the camp to find the girl - Elsa. There is also a ticking clock established, The Captain must get to the camp and find Elsa before one of the other SS officers does. When The Captain finds Elsa, there is a new goal established, and after that goal, there's another and another.
The story becomes a series of very clearly defined goals, each one with varying degrees of urgency.
GOAL AND URGENCY TIP: Clearly defined goals clarify your story. They make sure that your audience knows what the main charters are doing. When your audience isn't sure what your main characters are trying to achieve their attention wanders and they become quickly bored.
FORM:
The writing here was well done. It was a little heavy to read, the dialogue to description ration was about 20/80. When a script relies on description over dialogue to tell the story it makes the read a little denser, but that was done with purpose here.
The story is only 95 pages long, so it doesn't overstay its welcome. Very often when I read a war film it comes in at around 120 pages. When your script is running 120 pages long it's usually because you have extraneous writing.
I didn't notice one spelling or grammar mistake in this script. This is another thing that separates the professionals from the amateurs. Most unproduced writers have many spelling and grammatical mistakes in their scripts. There's no excuse to have a solitary form error in your script.
FORM TIP: Take your current script. Is it 100 pages or less? If not, trim, trim, trim. Then go through your script until it has no spelling or grammar mistakes.
CHARACTERS AND DIALOGUE:
The Captain was well defined. He felt three dimensional. The choice not to make him a verbose man played well to his personality. Had the writers chosen to make him a talkative character it wouldn't have worked. He is a man with a heavy burden of guilt on his conscience. He is trying to atone for his ills but at the same time is aware there is no act of kindness grand enough to erase the horrors of what he has committed.
The dialogue here walks a great line - it balances the divide of understated without coming across as contrived.
WW2 films often have characters who wax-lyrical about the horrors of war. It is better to show the audience the horrors of war than have a character state the obvious.
CHARACTER AND DIALOGUE TIP:
When writing dialogue you need to try and separate yourself - the writer - from the character. Ask yourself - if this dialogue coming from ME (the writer) or is it coming from my character? It is often very hard to separate the two, but being aware of the difference is the first step towards writing character-honest dialogue.
START LATE FINISH EARLY:
This simply means: find the core of your scene and start as close to that core as you can, then as soon as you have executed that beat, finish the scene.
This script does this well. There wasn't one scene I felt that lingered unnecessarily.
STRUCTURE:
I didn't analyze the structure here according to the Hero's Journey. It seemed redundant to do that. The well-established micro-goals created enough of a sense of structure to carry this film.
Had the writers tried to insert an obvious character flaw into Elsa and The Captain that they had to overcome by the end of the film - it would have undermined the tone and nature of the story.
STRUCTURE TIP:
Structure is very important, structure is the frame work around which the skin of your story hangs. If you have written your story without any kind of forethought for structure, odds are your story will feel disjointed and wandering. If you have a story that you love the concept of, but it just doesn't seem to read the way you want it too, odds are your structure is off. Go back to page 1 and do a complete re-write this time focusing on structure first.
OVERALL:
This is a very successful screenplay. It has Margot Robbie attached and the director of Assassin's Creed, Justin Kurzel.
The main problem I see with this film would be the scope of the budget required to shoot it. This film would require at least $50m to shoot. To make your money back on a $50m film you need to pull $150m at the box office.
Is this a film that could pull $150m at the box office?
No.
For this film to be a financial success, it would need to be shot at no more than $25 million. But when your production budget drops, so too does your production quality.
For this reason, I don't think this film will get made in the near future. I hope I'm wrong as I'd love to see it made, but I feel the cost to profit ratio on this film is low.
No comments:
Post a Comment