SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #16 PROOF OF CONCEPT

One of the most common questions I'm asked by amateur screenwriters is, 'how do I get my script read?'

It's one of the most frustrating aspects of starting out in this industry.

If you're an unknown with little or no contacts in the industry, getting people to simply READ your work can be incredibly difficult. 

The reason for this is over saturation.

I've gone into the statistics on this before - but at any one time, your script is essentially competing with around 1 million other screenplays. 

A little-known fact in the industry is that when your script DOES manage to make it in front of someone and they give it a read, they will, at best, skim read - being one of the main reasons I heavily advocate lean writing. 

So, in a time-poor world, how do you get your script read?

One way is to create a PROOF OF CONCEPT of your feature.

A proof of concept is a short film that conveys the CONCEPT or IDEA of your film. 

There are many examples of highly successful feature films that have come from a proof of concept short film. 

The horror film MAMA started life as a two-and-a-half-minute short film. 

The same for LIGHTS OUT.

I have had personal experience with creating a proof of concept.

I won the Page Awards Thriller/Horror category with my screenplay Damage Control. 

It was the top script in its category of an overall 7000 entries. 

To help support the screenplay I created a proof of concept. 

It takes 5 minutes to watch a short film and see if you like the concept, or it can take two hours to read a feature. 

Simply put, if you have a feature script that you feel is as strong as you can write it, and you're ready to get it out there, then creating a short film that conveys the concept is a powerful way to beat the masses.

There's a saying in LA - if you go into a restaurant and throw a rock over your shoulder you're going to hit a writer.

Writing (along with photography) are the two most easily accessible art forms. 

To be a writer, all you need is a computer with word processing software - something that almost everyone in a developed country has.

So, how do you define yourself in the world of writing?

Create a short film that conveys your idea. 

Proof of concepts can take many forms.

There really is no rule - so long as you convey your concept you've done your job.

Some people have created fake trailers for their film, a sub 2 minute short that expresses the key concept of the feature, and from there they've gone on to make a feature.

Here're a couple of tips I'd suggest for any writers out there who want to create a proof of concept for their feature script. 

KEEP IT LESS THAN 3 MINUTES.

If you can't get your idea across in less than 3 minutes you're not telling your idea well.

Now, I'm guilty of this. 

My first proof of concept I created was 8 minutes long.

The proof of concept for my Page Awards winning script is 5 minutes long. 

I'm currently working on a new proof of concept for another feature - I created a pre-vis of that short film - and it came in at 5 minutes.

After reviewing it, I've since re-written it so that it will be just under 3 minutes when I shoot it properly.

WHY 3 minutes?

3 minutes is most people's attention span. 

Look at the world of pop-music. 

All pop songs are around the 3-minute mark. 

There're three types of short films - too long, far too long, and waaaaaay to long. 

Creating a 3-minute time mark to convey your concept forces you to CUT THE FAT. 

It forces you to focus on your CONCEPT, nothing else.

GET A GOOD DP AND A GOOD CAMERA.

One of the things that producers look at is production quality.

Did you shoot your proof of concept on an iPhone 7 or did you actually engage a DP (director of photography) and shoot it on a decent camera?

I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO CAN HELP MAKE MY PROOF OF CONCEPT.

It doesn't matter if you have a great creative circle of friends or not.

Here's how to create a proof of concept.

So long as you live in a city that has a film school, then you can do this.

You become the director/producer. 

You go to the film school and speak with the faculty there. 

Explain that you're looking to create a short film that is a proof of concept for a feature film.

You're looking for a good DP.

Start with the DP. 

DP's have all the contacts you will need.

Put your proposal to all the DP's that have recently graduated from that film school.

Some of the DP's will not get back to you, some will and won't be all that keen, others will be excited by your project.

Once you have a DP onboard you will need to find the rest of your crew.

The DP will have worked with others and will no doubt have a suggested list of people they'd like to work with. 

I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO CREATE A PROOF OF CONCEPT.

You'd be surprised how many people straight out of film school will be willing to work for free.

With that said, I've found from personal experience that if you pay everyone a nominal amount - as a token of appreciation - it goes down well. 

Everyone is aware that most people don't have large sums of money lying around to be thrown at making films.

But rather than saying, hey, do this for me for free, if you say, I'll pay you a small amount, your crew will be appreciative of the gesture. 

I've seen $40k films made for $2000 - where, if everyone was paid properly it'd cost $40k, but instead, the producer paid what they could. The film got made and was successful. 

I won't go into the details of the crew required to shoot a short film here - that deserves a post (or two) of its own. 

ALTERNATE BENEFITS OF CREATING A PROOF OF CONCEPT

So, let's just say you create a proof of concept of your feature film - but it still doesn't get picked up - what a total waste of time.

WRONG.

You can now use your proof of concept as a producing/directing sample.

Again, I've had personal experience from this.

I have a new feature film that has just been announced is part of a production pipeline - set to go into pre-production next year. 

I'm set to direct the feature - and when asked by the producers why I should be allowed to direct it, I showed them my proof of concept I had directed for my Page Award winner.

On the back of that proof of concept short film, the producers are happy to let me direct the new feature.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you’re having trouble getting your feature screenplays read – create a proof of concept short film that’s less than 3 minutes.

You’ll be surprised how many doors it will open for you. 

Here's a link to my short film proof of concept for my Page Award winning script.

If the link doesn't work copy and paste this into your browser.

https://youtu.be/-ZtzrjddBwg

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #15 HOW TO WRITE DESCRIPTION

This is a really important aspect of screenwriting that is far too often overlooked. 

How do you write the description of a scene?

The very first thing to remember is that you're writing word pictures.

You must only describe what can be seen. 

This is TAKEAWAY #1 for you today.

Go to your script, go through your descriptions in each scene and go line by line.

Highlight any description that CAN be SEEN on the screen.

Highlight anything that CANNOT be seen on the screen.

Now, go through and re-write all the things that cannot be seen on the screen in a way that can be seen.

Example...

You might have written, 'Michelle is unhappy with the way John spoke to her.'

There's no way for the audience to SEE that sentence on the screen. So, essentially, that's a wasted sentence.

Now think how you could visualize that...

‘John's comment causes Michelle to squeeze the glass she's holding so much that it cracks.’

That's an action that we can see on screen. 

OKAY...

Now that you've gone through your script and identified all the non-image moments and changed them to something that can be SEEN on-screen, now you need to look at how to focus attention in a scene.

How do you let the director know where you want the focus to be in your scene?

This is where amateurs write camera directions such as - 'The camera follows Michelle's hand as she grabs the knife."

It's superfluous to write 'The camera follows...' - just write what it is that you want the camera to focus on...

'Michelle grabs the knife.' - is fine - but it doesn't imply a close up on the hand grabbing the knife. 

To bring the focus onto Michelle's hand, try something like this...

A sickle-shaped scar on the back of Michelle's hand stretches as she grips the knife tightly.

Here, we have to be close enough to see the scar on the back of Michelle's hand.

BUT, here's the thing... you should only be directing a close-up if it's important to telling the story.

If there's no reason to show a close-up on Michelle's hand clutching the knife, then don't do it.

What you need to do is identify the IMPORTANT ACTIONS in each scene.

Once you have done that - then you need to write your descriptions so they serve to describe these actions. 

That's TAKEAWAY #2 today... 

Go through each scene in the script you're working on and look at the actions you currently have. 

Now go through and start removing some of the actions. 

If you can remove an action and the scene still makes absolute-perfect sense - then odds are you don't need that action and you can delete it. 

The most common mistake I see amateurs make when writing description is to start wide THEN find the focus of their scene.

Example...

Say you have an outdoor scene.

The focus on your scene is one person palming a small note to someone else. 

The wrong way to describe the scene is to start out wide and describe the area where the moment takes place. I.e...

"The neon lights illuminate Times Square. Hundreds of people gather to bring in the new year.  It's a medley of chaos, people singing, shouting, arguing, kissing. 

Among the mess, Mike palms a small note to John. The exchange goes unnoticed."

In this example, we started by describing a wide-shot of the environment. 

We have then come into the focus of the scene - the palming of a note. 

I would recommend you write this scene in reverse order. 

Start with the note being passed off to John, THEN describe the environment. 

WHY do it this way?

If you start with the focus of your scene and work your way out, it anchors your scene. 

We know immediately what it is that we're focusing on in the scene.

If you do it the other way - start wide, describe the setting, then come into the focus of the scene, there's a moment where the audience isn't sure what they're being asked to focus on. 

When this happens there's a moment of disconnect between the film and the audience.

Remember that it's your job to engage your viewer from the first line and to keep them locked to your story until the end. 

The best way to do this is to not allow them a moment where they can wander off, mentally speaking. 

If you write a scene by zeroing in on the focus on the scene from the first word, then your audience will be engaged from the get-go. There'll be no moment for their minds to wander. 

THE TAKEAWAY #3

Go to the script you're working on now and go through scene by scene.

Identify the MAJOR ACTION taking place in each scene.

Start by describing that action first. 

Once that is done, THEN write the rest of the scene. 

You'll find that the scene is anchored better, there'll be less ambiguity and your reader/audience will know exactly what the focus of each scene is.  

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #14 STRUCTURE BEFORE YOU WRITE

The importance of structuring your screenplay before you dive in and write it is far too often overlooked.

You have a general idea of what your film will be about, you have a killer opening scene, so you think, to hell with structuring - let's start writing. 

Why do yourself this incredible disservice? 

Think about ANY other profession. 

Say, building a car. 

You know you want to end up with a car and you've got a killer idea for some new wheels. 

So, what the hell, let's start by building the car from the ground up.

You build the wheels.

Awesome, they work really well.

Now, what?

Well, you need something to attach the wheels to so you create that.

But what happens after that?

I don't know, but I'll figure it out when I get there.

Can't be that hard, can it?

Yes, it obviously can.

Writing a screenplay and building a car are nothing alike - that's a stupid analogy.

Wrong.

I'm illustrating the importance of PLANNING.

If you have a BLUEPRINT for exactly how every part of your car will come together, the creation stage (writing) will be all the more easier. 

Ok then, so how do I structure a script?

This is where a solid knowledge of the Hero's Journey comes into play. 

When I've finished writing the Fundamentals Of Screenwriting - (I have about 50 posts outlined) - then I'm going to write the Fundamentals Of Story. 

This will cover the Hero's Journey.

But to get you started - here's a really rough outline for your film. 
...

The Ordinary World. 0% - 25% of your script.

Here you establish your Main Character (MC). 

Within these pages, setup what the MC’s flaw is. 

Setup the SHADOW - the opposing force in the story.

Setup the MC's goal.

Before page 15 you need to have an inciting incident. (II)

The II is an event that forces the MC to face their FLAW.

The MC's first response will be to try to ignore the II. 

This is called the REFUSAL.

The MC is stuck in their ways. They don't want to CHANGE.

So they will do their best to ignore it. 

Then the CATALYST will occur. 

This is like a second II. This is an event that FORCES the MC to go on the journey.

A MAJOR goal is established.  

The MC sets out to achieve this goal.

When the MC accepts the journey - that is the end of the first act. 

This should occur around the 25% mark of your film.

We then have ACT 2

That breaks into two parts. 

Act 2 part 1 - 25% - 50%

The MC tries to achieve the goal, but because of their FLAW they make the wrong decisions, which leads them into more trouble. 

This leads up to... 

THE MID POINT - 50%

Here the MC changes their approach to the major goal.

OR the major goal changes.

The MC realises they were chasing the wrong goal. 


Act 2 part 2 - 50% - 75%

Though the MC is now going about things in the right way, it's a matter of Too Little Too Late. 

The MC spirals out of control and this leads to...

THE LOWEST POINT - roughly 65%

Here, all hope seems lost. 

The MC (or someone close to them) is sure to die.

The MC reflects and confesses.

They realize that had they not been flawed they would never have ended up in this dire situation.

Because of this confession, the MC is rewarded in some way. 

They suddenly realize that all is not lost. There is still hope.

By using all their cunning and everything they've learned on their journey, they manage to overcome the impossible. 

They escape from this certain death - reborn. 

They are now ready to achieve the major goal - which is most often defeating the SHADOW.


ACT THREE 75% - 97%

Now the MC is no longer flawed - they are able to achieve the major goal. 

DENOUMONT 97% - 100%

We find the MC back in their ordinary world.

Their flaw is tested, but now they are no longer flawed their response to the test is positive. 

…

That is an incredibly simplistic distillation of The Hero's Journey. 

But being that the HJ is quite complicated - it's good to have a concise version to keep in mind when tackling the structure of your script.

REMEMBER...

The HJ is only a guide.

There is no guaranteed formula to a successful script.

The HJ is the closest match to the majority of successful films. 

Use it as a base to your script and build upon it. 

Create your own uniqueness.

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #13 DRAMA IS CONFLICT

Today's post is something that every screenwriter - both amateur and 'professional' must understand. 

After reading this post - go and ask your screenwriting friends what DRAMA is?

You'll be amazed at the responses you get. 

Simply put, drama is conflict. 

Take Star Wars ep 4 - this is without question the single most successful Sci-Fi film ever made. There is no scene in that film that is without conflict. 

Can you imagine if Hans and Leah got along just fine? Or if Darth Vader and Luke had no issues to resolve? 

The Titanic - conflict of social status. Can you imagine that film if Leo had been an aristocrat? There'd be no conflict - there'd be no hurdle to overcome - there'd be no drama.

But wait, they still crashed into the iceberg - thousands died - isn't that drama?

Nope.

It's spectacle. 

What made The Titanic so successful was the HUMAN story. 

The love story between Kate and Leo. The only reason that story resonated with us was because of the conflict. 

If their love had been easy and without obstacles we wouldn't have cared about it so much. 

The spectacle of seeing the ship go down only resonated with audiences as it was another obstacle for their love to succeed. 

If there was no human story - then the ship going down is simply spectacle. 

At the core of every successful film is conflict. 

This holds true on the scene level. 

The 'secret' to writing a successful scene is to ensure that there is conflict.

If you write a scene where a wife comes home to her husband from her long day at work and he has dinner ready, the kid’s homework is underway, he's cleaned the house, has done the laundry ready for her big meeting the next day and they spend the entire scene saying how much they love each other, the audience is going to be as bored as hell. 

Take this same scene and inject conflict. 

The wife comes home early to find her husband on an online dating website. 

Or...

The wife comes home and her husband is passed out drunk on the sofa. 

The latter two options create drama (conflict).

The first example is just boring as hell. 

Here's the simple takeaway for you...

Go to the script you're working on at the moment.

Look at EVERY scene - scene by scene. 

Find the scenes where there is NO conflict. 

Re-write that scene with conflict. 

The conflict you inject into each scene doesn't have to be heavy-handed - it can be a simple disagreement. 

But you'll find that even a simple disagreement between characters will read far better than a scene where everyone gets along just dandy.

The most common place that I see scenes without conflict are in the opening 10 pages. 

Writers seem to think that a slow-burn opening to their film is fine.

'Just wait, it gets really good later.' - I've heard writers say that in defense of their conflict-free openings. 

It's your job as the writer to engage your audience from page one and never give them a chance to tune out. 

A sure-fire way of maintaining your reader's attention is to inject conflict in every scene. 

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #12 START LATE - FINISH EARLY

This is a mistake that pops up time and time again.

I've written about START LATE, FINISH EARLY before, it's something that seems to rear its ugly head far too often, so here's a post just focusing on the concept of START LATE, FINISH EARLY.

Let's start with the basics - what does it mean?

Simply put it means cut the fat. 

OR

START your scene as late as possible, then FINISH the scene as soon as you can.

Why is this important?

The human attention span grows ever shorter as time moves on.

If you watch films from the 60's and 70's, you'll find a lot of scenes where a character would finish work, drive home, park the car, then walk into the house, say hi to the family, then the phone would ring bringing bad news. 

It’s plain to see from this given scenario that the only important story beat is the phone call that brings bad news.

It is the only beat that MOVES THE STORY FORWARD.

Everything else prior to that was expositional, meaning it simply showed us the environment where our character worked and lived, but nothing occurred to move the narrative (story) forward.

There was no progression or development of story until the phone rang with bad news.

Contemporary society grows bored easily. The vast majority of people have grown up with ready access to multitudes of viewing alternatives. 

If you shot a sequence such as the above and showed it to contemporary viewers they'd grow bored very quickly. If you had three or four scenes like that in a row, they'd very soon watch something else.

As a viewer, I want to be hooked IMMEDIATELY and never given a chance to get bored.

That's another common mistake I see in amateur screenplays - the script will start with a powerful opening scene that really hooks me, then the writer seems to feel that they've done their job and they have license to take their time writing the following scenes.

Nope.

Not gonna cut it.

You need to grab your viewer in the opening scene then continue to move the story forward with every scene.

I've talked about SCENES OF DEATH before.

SOD are where nothing in that scene moves the story forward. 

It's the surest way to lose your audience.

Think about your own viewing experiences.

How often have you been watching something that began promising then started to wander, lose focus, and you found yourself soon bored with it?

I imagine the answer is far too often. 

OK...

So how to avoid writing SOD.

The simplest way to approach this is to UNDERSTAND YOUR STORY.

A lot of writers don't really understand where their story is going. 

They seem to think that so long as they're filling the page with text then they're doing their job.

WRONG.

Your job as a writer is to KNOW your story and KNOW where it’s going.

Go to the screenplay you're currently working on.

Break it down into scenes. 

Here's an important principle... 

Each scene should be no more than 3 pages long.

There is no minimum length. 

If you can convey a story beat in one tenth of a page - DO IT! 

A handful of 5-page scenes are ok – but really – try to keep all scenes to no more than 3 pages long.

If you have any scenes in your present script that run longer than 5 pages - you really need to trim them. 

Here's a test for you...

Go and grab one of those 5-page scenes. 

Write down the STORY BEAT that's occurring in that scene.

Write down WHY that scene is IMPERATIVE to have in your script.

Once you KNOW WHY the scene is in your script, think about how you could execute that story point as quick as you can.

Identify what the MEAT of your scene is and what the FAT is.

TRIM THE FAT.

It doesn't matter how great that piece of dialogue is, or how fun that moment is if it doesn't directly relate to conveying your scene's story beat...

...CUT IT.

It is FAR better to have 30 3-page scenes in a 90-page script, than 18 5-page scenes.

You will have 30 major beats as appose to 18 major beats.

Think about POP music. 

Most songs are three minutes long.  

When a song goes on for 5 minutes we start to get bored. 

Then when a song goes on for 8 minutes we're really bored.

(Of course there are exceptions to this - but what we're trying to do is look at GENERALLY what works and what doesn't. Most people are happy to listen to pop songs for 3 minutes. Most people grow bored of most pop songs after the 3-minute mark.)

THE BABADOOK is a great example of a story that keeps moving forward at a fast pace. 

The majority of scenes in that film are only 1-2 minutes long. Many of the scenes are only 30 seconds long. 

Remember that 1 page of your script equals 1 minute of screen time. 

The Babadook cost $2m to make and did $10m in cinemas - on top of that it's safe to say it's made another $5m from DVD and VOD. 

Regardless of if you liked The Badabook or not, it's a huge financial success. One of the major factors that led to this is that it continually moves the story forward.

HOW TO KEEP THE PACE?

Ask a question - don't answer it.

Humans are notoriously curious. 

You will keep your audience engaged if you pose a new question in each scene that goes UNANSWERED until a later scene.

Go to your script and look at how you reveal information. 

Find scenes where a question is asked and answered in the same scene.

Remove the answer from that scene. 

Now go to a later scene and transplant the answer.

It could be the very next scene, or it could be 10 scenes later. 

What you've done is create INTRIGUE, which is a very powerful storytelling technique. 

GOALS...

Humans love goals.

Goals drive our day to day lives.

When we see a character with a goal, we'll stay engaged with the story until the goal is achieved. 

When the goal is achieved, if there isn't a new goal established quickly, the audience will grow bored.

But here's the thing - there are very different types of goals. 

Find the remote control and turn on the TV - is a goal.

But we don't really care about that goal unless there are STAKES attached to the goal.

Make sure that every goal has some sort of baring on the character's life. 

The goal of turning on a tap to get a glass of water doesn't really mean much - UNLESS your character has spent the last 4 days in the desert and is dying of dehydration. 

URGENCY is the final story engine that will help you keep your story moving forward. 

If the goal can be achieved in 12 months we're not going to care about it as much as a goal that must be achieved in 2 minutes. 

But really... 

All these tips come back to the main title of today's post...

START EARLY, FINISH LATE.

THE TAKEAWAY...

KNOW YOUR STORY.

Find the core of each scene. 

Trim down each scene until you're only conveying your story beat in that scene.

Try to keep every scene to 3 pages or less.

Allow yourself a few 5 pages scenes, but only a few, and make sure they’re long for a reason – not just because you’ve got some fancy dialogue or a fun beat. 

Remember the four major story engines...

GOALS

STAKES

URGENCY

MYSTERY.