BLACK LIST 2018 - GET HOME SAFE

This screenplay landed at #3 on the 2018 blacklist. I went into the read not knowing anything about it. I've given up watching trailers nowadays as I find they give away too much of the film.

While loglines definitely have their place, there is something refreshing about going into a screenplay having no idea what you're about to read, other than a possible genre suggestion given by the title of the film.

Now, from the title alone I guessed this was a horror. And I feel like this would be pitched as a horror if it were to be made, but here's the thing, this screenplay is anything but a straight forward horror.

In fact, this script is anything but ordinary. It breaks pretty much every rule there is in screenwriting, but it somehow works. Let's dive into why I came away from this script moved by the story.

SUMMARY

I don't want to get into too much detail about the story here as to do so would mean giving away some serious spoilers. The film spans just one night, Halloween in Manhattan. We meet our hero - Skylar, at her home - a small studio in Spanish-Harlem Manhattan. As she readies herself for an evening out she speaks with her mom who lives in Texas. Her mom is enduring radiation therapy for cancer. Soon after, Skylar leaves the house to go and meet her friends. On the journey there she is sexually accosted both verbally and physically by various men.

It being Halloween everyone is dressed up in crazy outfits, it's the kind of night that a real psychopath could walk the streets freely and go unnoticed. She happens to meet one of these - a muscular young man wearing only his underpants and wearing a baby-mask.

Skylark meets her best friend at a bar and some other good friends, they drop Molly (MDMA) and go from bar to bar getting progressively drunker. But everywhere Skylar goes, this man-baby seems to be there. It's almost as though he's following her. Stalking her.

The story question becomes, as the title suggests - will Skylar get home safe, or not?

Before I dive into the analysis of this script, context is very important.

As I mentioned, this script is anything but ordinary. The first two pages are a letter from the author to you, the reader. They talk about the writer, Christy Hall, and her previous accomplishments, a screenplay that she wrote called Daddio. I know nothing about Daddio, but having read this script I'd like to read it. In her preamble, Christy talks about how Daddio was thought to be unapologetically written by a woman for women. There was no consideration for the male audience. When asked to re-write it with a more male-friendly slant she vehemently refused.

She then goes on to justify her screenplay, writing that it was not written for a male audience, that it is written by a woman with only a female audience in mind. She makes no apology for her film being targeted only toward women. This screenplay is unapologetically feminist.

The reason I detail this here is that it changes my break down of this script.

This screenplay is written by a woman, dealing with real things that women endure on a daily basis.

Let's look at...

CONCEPT

On surface level, the concept here is pretty damn weak.

Young woman in Manhattan is stalked by a deranged young man. That is not a fresh idea. But here's the thing. It is the execution of this concept that elevates this script. The concept here could more correctly be distilled to - the firsthand experience of a woman enduring sexual harassment on multiple levels as she simply tries to enjoy a night out with her friends.

I just realized that there are two aspects to this concept.

There is the horror element - young woman stalked through Manhattan on Halloween.

Then there is the drama element - young woman stands up to sexual harassment on a night out in Manhattan.

If you removed the drama element to this concept it wouldn't hold much water. But because this script is so much more than the simple horror vehicle concept, because this film is not exploitative of women, because it is an exercise in looking at a majorly messed up aspect of modern society - sexism - the concept works.

CONCEPT - gets two ratings here - 2/10 for the surface level concept - and 9/10 for the deeper aspect of the concept and what it really is.

CONCEPT TIP

No matter what genre you are writing your screenplay, thriller, horror, sci-fi, comedy, musical, etc... at its core your story must be a strong drama. If you are writing a story in any of these genres I strongly suggest you stop focusing on the GENRE aspect of your story - and focus (at first) on getting the human element of your story as perfect as you can. What really connects an audience with a film is the 'human element' - if you don't have well-developed characters going through a genuinely emotional journey of understanding your film will feel 2d and it won't connect with your viewers. 

FORM

Again, this script falls into two categories. The writer, Christy Hall breaks all the rules. She talks directly to the reader. Her scenes go on and on. She does a huge NO-NO by writing a two-page introduction of herself and the story you're about to read. She uses BOLD for her slug lines. She over describes things like hell. She directs the camera. On a surface level, this script's form is all over the place. 

BUT....

Here's the thing, this script is the exception to the rule. Christy has representation, good representation. When you are on the inside, getting your work seen is much easier. Producers and industry people look at your work differently. If you're managed by a big agency, your work comes with a stamp of approval. People stop looking at the finer details of your script - such as how well it's written and focus more on STORY. What is the core of the story here? Can we take that core and develop it into something powerful? 

FORM RATING - surface level it gets a 5/10 - but when you consider that this script is trying to break rules and is already an 'insider' script, then the low form rating doesn't really undercut the screenplay’s chance of success. 

FORM TIP

Learn the rules before you break them. There are dozens of screenwriting rules. It is fine to break them, but it's important to be AWARE that you're breaking them. While this script is unlike anything I've read in a long time, it is so in a good way. Don't assume that just because you break the rules that your script will seem unique and brilliant. Odds are it won't. Odds are it will look like you don't really know what you're doing. 

STRUCTURE

The structure here is waaaaay off the typical hero's journey. As far as I can tell the main character has NO FLAW. When your hero has no flaw it makes structure difficult. There's no real inciting incident here at all. You might say that Skylar meeting the SHADOW (the man dressed as a baby) is the inciting incident, but that doesn't really test her flaw, as Skylar has no flaw. There is a significant event that changes Skylar's life, (being the basic definition of an inciting incident) but that doesn't occur until after page 50. 

I would say that structure is this script's biggest weakness. If this screenplay followed a little more of a traditional hero's journey it could really elevate the story. 

STRUCTURE RATING - 4/10 - the structure here is way off. 

STRUCTURE TIP - It is fine to break the rules! It is fine to not follow the traditional hero's journey structure! In fact, often times it is great when a story veers off track and your structure becomes UNPREDICTABLE! There's nothing worse than knowing ahead of time how a story is going to go. If at the 20-minute mark you guess the next five major beats of the film and you're right, that film quickly becomes boring as hell!

BUT here's the thing. Like I said before, LEARN THE RULES BEFORE YOU BREAK THEM, so you know when you're breaking the rules. If not, your script will come off as looking like you never really understood how a well-structured story is supposed to be. 

CHARACTERS

One of the great aspects of this screenplay is that the characters are all very real. Even the SHADOW is realistic. The mom seems very real and the best friend is very real. The one thing that really helps this script overcome its shortcomings is that its characters are firmly grounded in reality. 

CHARACTER RATING - 8/10

CHARACTER TIP

One of the main problems with a lot of screenplays is that the characters come across as PHONEY. They come across as tropes. A trope is a cliché. The Jock football player. The dumb bimbo. The Asian computer hacker. Etc. You get the idea. You should never write in tropes. You should never write in clichés. Always try to ground your characters in reality as much as you can. The more real your characters feel the more realistic your story will feel. 

DIALOGUE

The dialogue here is good. It is very real. But my biggest concern is there’s far too much. The opening scene where Skylar is chatting with her Mom goes on for 10 pages. While it reads fast, I remember thinking, okay, I get it, I get that she has this really strong relationship with her mom and that her mom has cancer. 

To improve the dialogue here I would want the fat trimmed. Not a huge cut, as the 'chatty' nature of the dialogue here, is part of this script's charm, but I would love for it to be made 30% tighter. 

DIALOGUE RATING 7/10

DIALOGUE TIP

Know what it is you are doing in each scene. Then write dialogue around those beats. When you have two characters just chatting it is easy for you to think that it is great dialogue as it might read really fast. But one minute of reading time goes much faster than one minute of watching dialogue that has no real point or direction. For those out there who want to do a test of this - a great exercise is to write two versions of a scene. Write one that is 5 or 6 pages long, then trim that scene back to a 2-page scene. Make sure that you are getting all the main points of interest across in both scenes, then get in touch with some half decent actors and film them doing both versions of the scenes. When you watch them back you will come to see just how boring excessive dialogue is. 

VOICE

I may as well go straight to the rating for this aspect of the script. 10/10

Christy breaks all the rules but she has a voice so strong that you almost forget the screenplays mistakes. You certainly forgive it far more than you would any other script. 

Voice is very hard to quantify. I've said that it is the sum of all the aspects of your script, which is true, but there is also that X factor that is impossible to quantify. And whatever that X factor is, Christy has it in buckets. 

PRODUCTION

This film could be made fairly cheaply. I imagine around the $5million mark would get you an A-lister female and decent production value. 

The thing about this script is it is not reliant on budget. You could shoot a $50,000 version of this film with an up and coming actress that wants a big break, and you would still have a great film on your hands. Would it be the same as if Emma Stone played the lead - hell no - but still, this script is a great example of writing for those people out there who are fed up with rejection after rejection and want to prove their abilities by making their own damn film. Getting $50k to fund a film is infinitely easier than getting $5m. Because this film is essentially a horror there is a wide range of festivals that would jump at it. 

PRODUCTION RATING - 9/10

PRODUCTION TIP

If you're looking to break in as a director, producer or writer this kind of script is perfect. It's not reliant on an A-lister, it's not reliant on a huge budget, but it's not just a boring drama. It’s a horror with a powerful message at its heart. There is a HUGE audience for films like this out there, and even if you only do a half decent job, a film like this will open doors for you, your team and your future projects. 

SUMMARY

While this screenplay is rough and raw and it really doesn't follow many of the screenwriting rules - the voice, the characters, the dialogue and the unique feminist angle of this film elevate it far beyond its shortcomings. 

I highly recommend this script to those that get a chance to read it.  

MAKING A SUCCESSFUL LOW BUDGET FILM - #2 - CONCEPT

A hugely important part of creating a successful film is to avoid cliche. It sounds like a no brainer - but you'd be surprised how many people think they've come up with a great new idea when really they're rehashing the same old same old that's been done a hundred times before. 

When you condense your concept into a single sentence how does it sound? Does it sound fresh and new? Does it sound like nothing anyone has seen before? Or does it sound like just another film that's not terribly inspiring?

Your quest to create something new doesn't mean you should create the wackiest, weirdest storyline you can imagine. Different for the sake of being different is just as bad as cliche. You want your story to be relatable, you want your story to be intriguing and understandable. 

If you write a story about a lady who is terrified of bricks you're going to have a hard time finding an audience who can relate to that. Write a story about a lady overcoming an oppressive family that doesn't want her to go out on her own and live her own life and you've got a much larger audience. 

Successful films are a delicate combination of the new and the familiar. It's a fine balance. Too much NEW and your story will be too strange and oddball to find an audience. Too FAMILIAR and it will feel stale and unoriginal. 

Objectivity is an important thing. Create your idea - then test it out on people. Choose a wide range of people and here's a great trick - don't tell them that YOU created the idea. Either tell them that you read about this film online and want to know what they think of the idea. Or say you over heard someone talking about this movie idea.

When you tell people you know about an idea and they know that you created it they're not going to give you an honest opinion. 

How ever honest you think your friends are - they're just not that honest. Even that friend who prides themselves on being the blunt and honest friend will not give you an honest opinion on your story concept. 

If you want an honest opinion spend a year writing your script then send it to a screenplay competition, see how far you get. Send it off to a dozen producers - waste their time and see how many responses you get back. 

Friends and family are a great place to start with pitching a concept - everyone sees films and everyone has an opinion.  

You might be thinking - but I don't care what they think, they don't know anything about films - you couldn't be more wrong if you tried. They don't have to know about the technical side of film to have an opinion on them. Each and every one of your friends and family are part of the VOTING MOVIE PUBLIC. 

What do I mean by that - just like voting at an election - everyone gets a vote in the world of movies. Every time ANYONE buys a movie ticket they're voting for a style and genre of film. The more people who vote for certain types of films the more likely that type of film will have more of it made. 

So when you're sitting there staring at what films are getting made and you can't understand WHY they don't make 'good' films - you need to reconsider your position. It simply means there's more people out there that would rather watch films that are different in style and taste to the films that you want to watch. 

Here's the second huge tip of the day when it comes to concepts -  don't write for yourself. 

Write for the largest possible audience there is. 

Maybe you hate stories that are grounded in music. But when you check your ego at the door and look into it - stories that are grounded in music have a HUGE audience base. In general, people love musicals and they love stories grounded in music. 

Perhaps your don't like horror films - can't stand them. Thats' a shame - because there are millions of people out there who LOVE them. 

When setting out to make a successful film - think outside your comfort zone. Look into genres and styles of stories that are hugely successful, don't just write what you want to see - write what the movie going public wants to see. 

MAKING A SUCCESSFUL LOW BUDGET FILM - #1 - CONCEPT

The success of a feature film stems from the concept. What is your story idea? 

You'd be surprised how many people make a film without investing time and energy into the concept. 

I know countless directors and producers who made a feature film just  to have done it. In some instances they came across a script that wasn't bad, somehow they managed to get funding to make it, and invariably the films aren't successful. Some did better than others, but as a whole the majority failed as films. 

Every one of these films was flawed from the begining. None of them had very well developed ideas.

If you're about to embark upon making a feature film I would urge you to spend at least a year searching for and refining your concept. If your concept is weak your film will be less likely to find and audience. 

What is a good idea? Isn't that subjective?

Certainly, there is a subjective aspect to all films. But one way to quantify 'success' is bottom line. How much money did your film make? Some people might argue that if a film does well at a film festival that quantifies success. It does, to a certain extent, but not in a way that really matters. 

Unless the festival your film is successful at opens a door to a sale, or funding for your next film, I would argue that festival accolades don't really amount to anything more than a stroke of the creators' egos. 

Ego stroking doesn't pay bills. 

There are those film makers who don't aim to make money from the films they create. That's great for them if they have family money to fall back on. But film making is a costly business, even cheap indy dramas can run into the multi-million dollar bracket. Those people who don't aim to make money from their films soon run out of benevolent family members willing to fund their "passion".

What is a successful concept? 

Let's start by looking at stories that very, very rarely make money. 

Drama as a whole is the least successful genre. Sure, there are countless successful dramas - but drama relies on big names to fill seats. Unless you're close friends with an A or B list actor, the odds are severely stacked against the chances of your "indy drama" finding an audience outside of the festival circuit.

Coming of age stories are rarely successful.

Love triangle stories are rarely successful. 

Romance stories are rarely successful. 

Take a look at your story that you're seriously considering trying to make into a film. 

Is it plain drama? 

How do I know if it's plain drama?

Do the reverse test. 

Is it made up on songs? - Yes - it's a musical.

Is it written to terrify the audience? - Yes - it's a horror.

Is it fast paced with a clever twisting plot and high stakes? Yes - you have a thriller.

Does the story involve futuristic science set in the future? Yes - you have a sci-fi. 

Is the story ridiculously funny and very clever? Yes - you have a comedy.

Is your story set in the past - more than ten years ago? Yes - you have a period film. 

Is your film set in the wild west? Yes, you have a western.

Does your story involve super heroes? Yes - you have a super hero film. 

This is not a definitive list of types of films, but it is a comprehensive list of the major types of films. If your script doesn't fit into one of these genre's odds are you have a drama. 

Now, just because you have a drama on your hands, doesn't mean you have to throw it out and start again. Writing a drama is a fantastic way to discover who your characters are. It's a great way to write the back bone of a story. But as a stand alone drama your film isn't going to be successful. For your story to find a paying audience you need to take your drama and re-write it in one of the above genres. 

Think about your drama as a Horror. As Sci-Fi. As a Comedy, as a Thriller, or a Musical. 

As this is a post about making a successful LOW BUDGET feature film I would rule out writing a story that is costly to make. So stick to one of these five. I've included Musical as a genre, but only attempt to make this genre if you have access to talented singers and musicians WHO CAN ACT. 

If not, stick to Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy and Thriller. These are the four genres that sell. 

Don't feel that you have to limit your story to just one of these genres. Re-write your drama as a Horror, then try it as a Thriller, as Sci-Fi and then as a Comedy. Take the time to find a genre that really works for your concept. 

Now you have your concept written in a marketable genre. Next you need to make sure that your story is not cliche. 

How do I do that? 

Google the hell out of it. 

Start with your title. Google the title of your film. When was the last time that title was used for a film?

If there's been more than 3 films made in the last 10 years with that title - consider making it more unique. 

Look at all the other films that are similar in genre and style to your film. Look at what their storylines are, look at the tropes they use. If you're writing a Spy Thriller - does your story use all the same  tropes as every other spy film? If it does, rewrite your film until it doesn't use all the tropes. 

The next big test for your concept is to write it out in one succinct sentence that summarises your entire story. This is called a Log-Line. 

Writing a successful Log-Line is a great test of your concept. If you can't write a good logline, odds are you don't have a good concept. 

In the next instalment I'll write about how to write a great log-line. 

Until then, keep working on your concept until it's unique, trope free and fits one of the five main genres - Musical, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller or Comedy. 

PRE PRODUCTION ON A FEATURE

I am currently in pre-production on a feature film.

I don't just write, I direct also.

Please excuse my hiatus from blogging as I'm focusing my attention on the creation of my feature film.

In the meantime, please read through my back catalogue of screenplay reviews and screenwriting tips. There's a wealth of information there for you for free. I truly hope it helps you to identify weaknesses in your script and helps you to improve your storytelling.

I am still running my screenplay coverage service, but due to high demand my prices have gone up. Prices are listed off to the right.

All the best,

Sam

BITE-SIZED TIP #1 - HIGH CONCEPT

Short post today. Being why I've called it a bite-sized tip. 

Look at the script you're working on. 

Ask yourself - and be honest - is it HIGH CONCEPT?

What is High Concept?

Pretty simple - High Concept is something that can be explained really easily. 

It's also where STORY is more important than the CHARACTERS. 

Here's a test. 

Someone says, what's your story about?

How do you describe it?

1) Can you say it succinctly in ten words? Such as - A young boy has the power to see dead people - The Sixth Sense.

2) Or do you start by saying, well, it's about this girl, and she has trouble with her mother, but then she gets to college, and she discovers...

Do the 'what's your story about?' test.

If you fall into category 2 then you don't have a high concept story.

That means you have a DRAMA. 

Now there's nothing wrong with dramas - it's just that you have a far higher chance of selling your script if it's high concept. 

But don't worry - or think that your drama has been a waste of time. Quite the opposite. You've been working on an EMOTIONAL story for the past - however long - that's great. It should mean you have well-developed characters and a story with a heart. 

Now it's time to take that well-constructed drama and find a HIGH CONCEPT setting. 

One way to do this is to change your story's genre. 

How would your drama play out if it were a HORROR, or a THRILLER, or a SCI-FI? 

They're the three genres that sell the best. 

Sure, this will require a re-write from page 1 - but writing the new THRILLER or HORROR, or SCI-FI won't be as difficult because you've already developed your characters for so long in your drama. 

The bite-sized take away from today is to aim for HIGH CONCEPT.

Why?

Because that's what sells.

Take the drama you've been working on and re-write it in a high concept genre. 

2016 BLACKLIST - LIFE ITSELF

LIFE ITSELF

35 votes on the 2016 blacklist which made it the second top screenplay of that year.

Written by Dan Fogelman.

Logline: A multigenerational love story that weaves together a number of characters whose lives intersect over the course of decades, from the streets of New York to the Spanish countryside and back.


THE STORY:

This is a complicated tale to summarize. There is no one single protagonist. There are about 6 main players. And as the logline suggests, these players are spread out over several years. To summarize this story would be to give away many of the plot points. Which I'd rather not do as this is a great script, very worth reading. 

This story is about connectivity. It's really about the butterfly effect - that the smallest of actions can lead to the biggest of actions. 

The first main player we meet is WILL. Will is an enigmatic chap who sees a therapist as his wife and mother of his child died in a bus accident. 

From this jumping off point we look back into the past and how it came to be that the bus accident occurred. After that, we look forward into the future and see how the bus accident affected Will's child. 

I'll leave the story summary there as to give any more detail really would give the story away. 

INITIAL REACTION:

When I first read the logline I rolled my eyes and groaned... I imagined a slow paced, deep character study that was going to be so soporific it would soon have me unconscious. 

How wrong I was. 

Even though this story eschews the single protagonist mold that Hollywood loves - it manages to keep you invested in every character and each set of character's story.

How does he do this? 

EMPATHY.

That's the main takeaway for today. 

Every character we care about. 

How do you make an audience care about a character or multiple characters?

The first step toward creating characters we care about is to put them in positions that we can RELATE TO.

Think about that word.

RELATABILITY.

Thrillers are very exciting. CIA operatives doing international espionage is a lot of fun, but as far as reliability goes? Almost no one watching a CIA film is going to have actual international espionage experience.

The only way to make a CIA thriller relatable is through the relationship problems the characters have because we all have relationship problems. 

LIFE ITSELF is not a CIA thriller at all. It is a plain drama. But every character story is about relationship problems - which is something all humans can relate to. 

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you go and see a movie and you come away having had almost no emotional experience at all? 

Then other films make you cry and really shake you up, get you thinking?

The reason for this is RELATABILITY.

Creating an emotional connection between your characters and your audience will create a far more well-received screenplay than focusing on plot and structure. 

Don't get me wrong - a film with no plot and structure and ALL emotional connectivity would be a terrible film. Plot and structure are the frame over which you drape the emotional element of your story. 

So - in specific how do you make an audience like your characters?

Think about real life... we judge people on the ACTIONS they make. 

Put your hero in a situation that requires a REACTION. Think about what the expected reaction would be.

Then, here's the trick - switch up that reaction. Surprise us with how the hero reacts. But make sure that the reaction is altruistic. We love watching heroes who sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of others.

The reason I bring this up is there is a main character in LIFE ITSELF who is presented with a problem.

He makes a decision that at first seems rough and uncalled for. 

Then as a reveal at the end of the story - we come to understand that the decision was really a huge self-sacrifice. He essentially gave up his joy and happiness for the sake of his wife and child. 

That really hit me on a gut level when the beat was revealed. I was blown away that someone should sacrifice so much for the sake of their loved ones - and here's the kicker - the loved ones didn't even KNOW that he sacrificed so much.

It is one thing to sacrifice when those you are doing it for are aware you're doing so. 

Then it is the next level up to sacrifice for people who don't even know you are doing so. 

That is true altruism. 

Look at DONNIE DARKO - the one thing that made that film sooooo exceptional was that Donnie gave his life to save the life of a girl - who would NEVER KNOW that he died so she could live. 

That is a powerful story point. 

LIFE ITSELF is full of powerful story points. Which is why it succeeds.

It is a lot like WHEN HARRY MET SALLY in that it spans decades and is a really true look at life. 

That's another good word to consider when you're trying to write a story that lands on an emotional level. 

TRUTH.

I find myself tuning out of so many films these days simply because the story doesn't ring true. 

It doesn't matter what world you are creating - be it a sci-fi, a western, a horror - the story beats need to ring true in accordance to the world rules you are creating. 

My major problem with the LOVE story in Ben Affleck's The Town was how unreal the life story was of Ben's love interest Claire - played by Rebecca Hall. 

In the story - Claire lives a solitary existence and she can't find any decent man. 

Then along comes Ben and even though he's a bank robber she loves him. 

I'm sorry - that doesn't ring true. 

Have you seen Rebecca Hall? She is incredibly beautiful, intelligent, charismatic. In real life, women like Rebecca have countless beau's seeking her affection. 

In The Town - we were supposed to believe someone like Rebecca had no other options in her life. 

It just didn't ring true. 

When writing your story - don't write what you NEED TO HAVE happen for the sake of your story - consider what would happen in real life.

If you have written a female lead who is charismatic and beautiful and intelligent but just can't find the right guy - you need to give us a REALLY good reason why she can't find the right guy. It can't just be that all the guys she dates are idiots - because - in real life - there are countless great guys out there. 

Only in badly written film scripts are all the guys out there - bad eggs. 

So they're the two TAKEAWAYS for today. 

RELATABILITY - and TRUTH. 

If you can create characters that RING TRUE in the world you are creating, and if you can make us RELATE to them, your script will sing. 

As did LIFE ITSELF.

2016 BLACK LIST - BLOND AMBITION

TITLE: Blond Ambition

Written by: Elyse Hollander

Length: 119 pages

Top of the 2016 Blacklist with 48 votes. 

Rep: John Zaoirny - Bellevue Productions


Logline: Chronicles Madonna in the 1980s New York as she struggles to get her first album released while navigating fame, romance, and an industry that views women as disposable.

SUMMARY:

The logline really sums it up - We start with Madonna at the start of her booming career in 1984. Her first album has dropped and it's an uber success. Everyone wants her and things couldn't look better. 

We then jump back one year earlier. Madonna doesn't have half the recognition she has in the opening scene. But she doesn't have no success. She is in a successful band called the Emmy's, and they're signed to Sire records, one of the big four record companies. 

But things aren't going their way. Her A&R rep only wants to have sex with her, and her agent at Sire won't even try to convince his boss to release their record they've recorded.

Madonna is frustrated. Her band-mates seem more interested in getting drunk and being cool than actually striving for success. 

The problem is the production of their album. Whoever produced it, did a really bad job. All the mixes are waaaaay off. Madonna knows that their only chance of success is to get a really good producer onboard. She tries to get the producer who did David Bowie's last album, but she can't even get an interview with him, she's that off his radar. 

Everything seems to be lost - until - a Latin DJ by the name of Jellybean enters her life. 

Jellybean is the most sort after remixer in all of New York. He's also impossible to get a meeting with. But that doesn't stop Madonna. As Jellybean is DJing at the coolest club in NY, a dance-off begins on the dance floor. Madonna cuts in on the dance off - and whips her opponent's ass. 

Jellybean sees this and is intrigued. 

Their relationship develops from there. After much coercing, Jellybean eventually agrees to produce Madonna's album. 

History tells us just how successful that first album was - so that's not where the intrigue of the story is. What keeps you hooked is watching just how determined Madonna is and seeing what she will do to achieve her goal - world domination. 

INITIAL REACTION:

Very often I'll read a screenplay that's at the top of the blacklist and have almost no idea WHY it received that many votes. But not this year - at least not with Blond Ambition. 

This script is solid from start to finish. It's great even if you're not a Madonna fan. I'm apathetic about Madonna - I can appreciate and respect when a singer-song-writer is as successful as she is, but my iTunes has none of her songs in it. This script is so well executed, a love for her music is not necessary. 

You know what makes this script successful? It's all about a woman's drive to succeed. There's a lesson in that for screenwriters. People love to watch stories about underdogs succeeding - but they love to see the underdog EARN their win. 

If the road to success is too easy, the opposite happens - viewers will get annoyed with your hero, they'll start to hate them because they had their success handed to them. 

CONCEPT:

BIOPICS are always in demand. Why? Because people LOVE true stories. Even when we know how the story ends - we love to see the journey and the fight that these people went through to achieve their goals. 

A biopic about Madonna is sure to make money. She is one of the most successful female music artists in the world. Arguably THE most successful in the modern era. 

There is one downside to writing a biopic about a famous musician - the film will only work if the rights to the music can be bought. And that can send the budget up into the stratosphere. 

I highly recommend writing biopics - and if you want to see a guide on how to do it well... read this script. 

FORM

This would be the 'worst' part of this screenplay. It is densely written. But when I say 'worst', please note that I write it in quotation marks for a reason - the writing here is stellar. 

I only skim read the descriptions - as they were waaaaaay over written. But there are two ways to read a script. 1) Speed mode. Where you skim read, or 2) Normal mode - where you take in every line. 

Most people skim read to get a feel for a script - if you can read 120 pages in 60 minutes and still understand the story - then that - in itself - is testimony to the writing ability of the writer. 

If I were a producer with an eye to making this film - then I'd sit down, take my time with the script and savor every word and every scene.

So as a writer, you have to try to find a balance. 

You want to write a lean script so readers who are skim-reading can zap through your story and still understand it. But you also want there to be substance to your tale. 

This script, I feel, is over written by about 20% - but it's still a damn fine read.

STRUCTURE:

Biopics are funny when it comes to structure. If you're telling a true story - you are bound by the facts that happened in real life. 

But here's where good writing comes into. 

You can have the EXTERNAL EVENTS play out as they did in real life - but you - as the writer - control what goes on INSIDE your hero. 

So to that end, you can create a more traditional structure while still staying true to real life events. 

It's interesting to note that MADONNA'S FLAW is NOT resolved by the end of the script. 

Madonna's flaw is that she uses people to get what she wants - the sacrifices are her personal relationships. 

With that in mind, this story is actually a tragedy. 

A tragedy is when a hero learns of their flaw - but even though they know about it - they choose to KEEP their flaw - and ultimately their life is doomed. 

A great tragedy is Leaving Las Vegas. If you haven't seen it, or read it - it's a great film and book. 

But the thing about M's flaw is that it drives her to succeed. It's very interesting in that regard - the one thing that destroys her personal relationships is the one thing that allows her to excel far beyond all her contemporaries.

CHARACTERS AND DIALOGUE

Both executed incredibly well. 

The way to tell if a writer has really put time and effort into their characters - is to judge them by how well they write their smaller characters. Even the bit players here shine. 

Here's a tip - try to name every single one of your characters in a script. When a character is named - RECEPTIONIST or NURSE #4 - that character suddenly doesn't feel real. Give them a name and they suddenly feel real.

Dialogue is well done here also. Each character has their own voice and way of speaking. It's a great example of how to do dialogue well. 

VOICE

The strength of your VOICE comes down to how easy it is to read your sentences. 

Sometimes I'll open a screenplay and it will take me three reads of the first paragraph to understand what happened. That's bad writing. That's poor sentence structure. 

Then, other times I'll open a script such as this one and the first paragraph is so easy to read your eyes slide across the page with ease. 

Here's a tip - try to write the way you talk. For some reason, writers often assume a different voice when they write. They feel there is a certain style they have to adhere to. 

There really isn't.

Writing is simply conveying a story. The easier it is to understand the story the better. 


PRODUCTION

This film is period. Being set in the eighties means it's almost as expensive as setting it in the 1900's. 

Also, the cost of licensing the music would be uber expensive. We're talking millions - just for the rights for the music. 

Also, it's about Madonna - so all the big name actresses would want in on this role - so - again, you're looking at a lot of money for the leading role. 

I'd say this film couldn't be done on much less than 20 million. That's the absolute lower end.

Realistically I can see this film being made on or around the 40-million-dollar mark.

But if it were well executed - it would stand to make a good return.

Which, really - is what the film BUSINESS is all about.