SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #18 EXPOSITION DIALOGUE

What is exposition dialogue? 

Let's firstly look at the word - exposition. 

The dictionary says exposition is, 'a comprehensive description and explanation of an idea or theory.'

In film terms, this means that elements of your story are directly explained to the audience. 

In the world of film directly explaining something to your audience doesn't come across very well.

It is always preferable to SHOW rather than TELL.

We've talked about the importance of having characters SHOW their emotions rather than TELLING them.

It is far better to SEE John being angry rather than John say, 'Damn it, I'm angry as hell.' 

It comes down to the subtly of performance. 

When a character acts in an over the top way their performance feels unrealistic.

Why is this?

Think about real life.

The majority of people don't directly say what their emotions are, they infer it. Their mood changes to reflect the way they're feeling. 

Exposition dialogue divides into two parts.

1) PERSONALITY TRAITS
2) PLOT POINTS

It is always preferable to SEE all the important plot points of a story than have a character explain what just happened. 

Audiences want to SEE the story unfold before their eyes, they don't want to be TOLD something by a character. 

There's a great example in Aliens.

Near the beginning of the film, Ripley says to someone that she has experience using the power-loader unloading cargo.

That's expositional dialogue as it is a character TELLING us something about the story. 

Later on, we SEE Ripley using the power-loader to unload some cargo.

Then, in the climax of the film, Ripley uses the power-loader to fight the alien. 

Had we not SEEN Ripley using the power-loader it wouldn't have made as much sense later on when we see her using it to fight the alien.

The dialogue where we're TOLD she has experience using the power-loader is really easy to miss. 

Expositional dialogue often stands in place of flashbacks.

Flashbacks really should be avoided in film.

Why?

Because a flashback puts the story in the present on hold.

As a storyteller is it your job to ALWAYS MOVE THE STORY FORWARD.

TAKEAWAY #1

Go to the script you're working on at the moment and go through scene by scene.

Firstly, identify all the instances where you have a character TELLING rather than SHOWING.

Secondly, divide the TELLS into 1) CHARACTER TRAITS and 2) PLOT POINTS.

WHAT ARE CHARACTER TRAITS? (CT)

CT are the make-up of each character's personality. 

Each character will have little quirks that make them unique. 

What is each character's temperament? How do they react under pressure? Are they benevolent, or are they selfish? Are they kind or nasty? Etc... etc... 

Anywhere in your script that you have a character trait being TOLD to the audience, you must delete and replace with an ACTION that SHOWS this character trait. 

That's the first part of cleaning exposition from your script.

Now comes the slightly harder process. 

Cleaning out plot point exposition. 

Plot points are beats in your story. EVENTS. 

It is always far better to SEE an event rather than have a character TELL it.

EXAMPLE...

Imagine the difference between SEEING a murder take place, vs having a character run into a bar and yell to anyone that's listening, 'Someone just got killed out in the alley!'

The difference should be obvious.

To see something first-hand is far more impactful than hearing about it from an intermediary.

TAKEAWAY #2

Go to all the instance you have where you TELL an event rather than see it and delete that dialogue, replacing it with THE ACTUAL EVENT. 

For a lot of people, this process will be very difficult.

For some people, it will completely change their script. 

If you find that you have a script that has a lot of EVENT BASED EXPOSITION, then you might need to go back to page 1 and look at the WAY you tell your story. 

A small amount of event based exposition is fine. But if you find that you have event based exposition more than three or four times in your script, you really need to go back to square one and reconsider the WAY in which you are telling your story. 

A great example of event-based exposition that really works in a film - is in JAWS.

The scene where Quint tells Brody and Hooper about his experience with sharks when the Indianapolis went down in shark-infested waters. 

It would have taken away from the moment to film that monologue as a flashback. It would have also cost a huge amount of money. 

In this instance, there's no other way for us to KNOW why Quint is obsessed with killing sharks. Until now, that aspect of his personality has been a MYSTERY. 

Here, just before the final showdown with Jaws, we understand why Quint is the way he is by way of plot point exposition dialogue. 

This is one of the ONLY moments in Jaws where there is plot point exposition dialogue. 

The rest of the story unfolds before our eyes.

There are instances where we are TOLD that Brody has a fear of water, which is character trait exposition dialogue - but we are also SHOWN his fear of water multiple times.   

THE BEST WAY TO USE EXPOSITIONAL DIALOGUE.

Firstly, there really should be no instance in your dialogue where you have one character tell another character about a personality trait of any of your characters.

There's no excuse not to SHOW personality traits. 

The only exposition you should be writing in dialogue are events that are critically important to understanding the present story line, where you can find no other way to SHOW that event. 

EXAMPLE...

Just say you have two characters working together on a heist.

A third character is engaged to work on the heist, but there is a huge amount of tension between one of the first two characters and this third character.

Finally, the other character asks, 'What's up between you guys?'

In this instance you have two choices, you can either go into a flashback to show what happened in their past that is the cause of the tension, or you can have the other character simply say, 'we had a falling out over a deal that went sour.' - or something to that effect. 

I would suggest you use plot point exposition dialogue like this only if it is IMPERATIVE to understanding the present storyline.

Here's another test for you...

EXPOSITION DIALOGUE TEST...

Go to the script you're working on at the moment.

It should now be completely free of any instance where you have exposition dialogue talking about character traits.

Look at the instances where you have exposition plot points in dialogue.

DELETE the first one.

Now read the scene.

Does it still make sense?

Quite often you will find that exposition dialogue that tells about previous plot points can be deleted without it altering the story.

You will often find that by deleting the exposition plot point dialogue you will create mystery.

Think about our example used above - the three guys on a heist but there's tension between two of the guys. 

Once you know WHY there's tension there's no longer any mystery surrounding that subject. 

If you delay answering that question you have created a mystery that will keep the audience guessing. 

Remember - MYSTERY IS A POWERFUL STORY ENGINE.

Unanswered questions will keep your audience engaged.  

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #17 DIALOGUE FORMATTING

Today's post comes back to the common mistake of the writer directing from the page. 

In descriptions, it's very common for amateur writers to unnecessarily direct the actor and the camera.

But this error is not limited to descriptions. One of the most common mistakes I see are writers directing how an actor should deliver their lines.

This is a huge no-no for various reasons.

The main one being that it's a huge insult to your actors. 

The second being that, while you think you're helping the actor to deliver their lines, what you're really doing is making it more difficult.

Let's look at some examples... 

DON'T WRITE IN PAUSES.

I.e...

JOHN
Hi, Michelle, it's been such a long time.
(beat)
I missed you so much.

Here's a RULE for you - never ever write '(beat)' in dialogue. 

Let your actor find their own natural pauses. 

When you write in where you want the pauses in dialogue to go, what you're really doing is stifling and limiting the actor's creativity. 

Take a look at the way Christopher Walken delivers his lines.

His oratory style is unique. His timing is unlike any other actor.

To write in pauses in dialogue for Christopher Walken would be to ruin one of the greatest aspects of his performance.

Never write a beat in dialogue - EVER.

Before writing a screenplay it is a really good idea to spend at least one day studying acting. 

See what it's like to be an actor reading a screenplay. 

When you see what an actor looks for in a script then you are better equipped to write an actor-friendly screenplay.

Another thing that actors dislike in a script is broken up dialogue. 

I.e...

JOHN
Michelle, I was wondering what you think about...

John opens his desk drawer and takes out a sheet of paper.

JOHN
...this. Run your eyes over it, tell me what you think. 


Actors HATE dialogue written like this.

WHY?

Because it breaks their flow. 

They don't want to read part of a line, then have an action forced upon them, then have to pick up the line after the action. 

UNLESS it is imperative to the plot to have the action take place mid-sentence, have the action take place BEFORE or AFTER the dialogue.

I.e...

 BEFORE 

John opens his desk drawer and takes out a sheet of paper.

JOHN
Michelle, I was wondering what you think about this. 
Run your eyes over it, tell me what you think. 

OR

AFTER 

JOHN
Michelle, I was wondering what you think about this. 
Run your eyes over it, tell me what you think. 

John opens his desk drawer and takes out a sheet of paper.

Having the action before or afterward doesn't really change the scene at all, but it does allow the actor to have all their dialogue together in one byte. 

Other forms of pauses in dialogue are '...' - also known as - ellipses.

JOHN
Michelle... I was wondering if you could take a look at...
You know what? Don't worry about it.

DON'T use ellipses in dialogue ever.

It's pretty much the same as writing (beat). You're telling the actor how and where to find a pause.

A much better way to write is...

JOHN

Michelle, I was wondering if you could take a look at,
you know what? Don't worry about it.

Just use commas and let the actor decide how they want to deliver the line. 

Here're some more tips for dialogue.

NEVER EVER use

Underline.

Italics.

Bold.

CAPS.

ALL THREE OF THESE AT ONCE!

WHY?

Because, again, all of these are directing the actor, which is an insult to the actor and stifles their creativity.

When you underline a word in dialogue you're asking the actor to emphasize that word.

Same with bold and italics.

When you write something in CAPS - you're essentially asking the actor to YELL those words.

What if the actor feels the line would be better delivered in a whisper? 

LET THE ACTOR DECIDE HOW THEY WANT TO DELIVER THEIR LINES.

This brings us to...

HOW TO USE PARENTHESIS or BRACKETS.

Far too often I see amateur writers put how they'd like the dialogue delivered in parenthesis.

JOHN
(angry)
I told you not to go in there.

Never ever do this.

If the tone of the dialogue is not clear from the context of the scene, then you need to re-write the scene so as the context is clear.

What if the actor doesn't want to deliver the line with anger - what if they want to switch up their delivery and surprise the audience by delivering their line in a different way?

Let the actors do their thing.

The best use of parenthesis is to direct WHO the dialogue is being delivered to when it is unclear.

When you only have two people in a scene it's clear who is talking to who. 

Or is it?

What if an actor speaks to themself?

In this instance, you can write...

JOHN
(sotto to self)
And hell might freeze over.

Sotto is short for 'sotto voce' - which means, 'a spoken remark in a quiet voice.'

OR, 'intentionally lowering the voice for emphasis.'

The best use of parenthesis is when you have more than two people in a scene and you're not sure who is talking to who.

In this scene, we have JOHN, MICHELLE, and MIKE.

JOHN
(to Michelle)
You don't have to do it, you know?

In this instance, without the parenthesis telling us who the dialogue is directed to, we're not sure if John said that to Michelle or Mike.

Writing screenplays is all about clarity. 

Use parenthesis to help make your story clearer.

THE TAKEAWAY...

Go to the screenplay you're working on.

Do a dialogue-pass focusing on the main issues I've highlighted here.

1) Remove all the (beats) from your dialogue.
2) Remove all the ellipses from your dialogue.
3) Remove all the bold, caps, italic and underlines from your dialogue.
4) Only use parenthesis to help clarify WHO a piece of dialogue is spoken to. 
5) Remove any instances where you have one piece of dialogue broken by an action that could just as easily come before or after the dialogue.

After making these changes your dialogue will read clearer and better.  

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #16 PROOF OF CONCEPT

One of the most common questions I'm asked by amateur screenwriters is, 'how do I get my script read?'

It's one of the most frustrating aspects of starting out in this industry.

If you're an unknown with little or no contacts in the industry, getting people to simply READ your work can be incredibly difficult. 

The reason for this is over saturation.

I've gone into the statistics on this before - but at any one time, your script is essentially competing with around 1 million other screenplays. 

A little-known fact in the industry is that when your script DOES manage to make it in front of someone and they give it a read, they will, at best, skim read - being one of the main reasons I heavily advocate lean writing. 

So, in a time-poor world, how do you get your script read?

One way is to create a PROOF OF CONCEPT of your feature.

A proof of concept is a short film that conveys the CONCEPT or IDEA of your film. 

There are many examples of highly successful feature films that have come from a proof of concept short film. 

The horror film MAMA started life as a two-and-a-half-minute short film. 

The same for LIGHTS OUT.

I have had personal experience with creating a proof of concept.

I won the Page Awards Thriller/Horror category with my screenplay Damage Control. 

It was the top script in its category of an overall 7000 entries. 

To help support the screenplay I created a proof of concept. 

It takes 5 minutes to watch a short film and see if you like the concept, or it can take two hours to read a feature. 

Simply put, if you have a feature script that you feel is as strong as you can write it, and you're ready to get it out there, then creating a short film that conveys the concept is a powerful way to beat the masses.

There's a saying in LA - if you go into a restaurant and throw a rock over your shoulder you're going to hit a writer.

Writing (along with photography) are the two most easily accessible art forms. 

To be a writer, all you need is a computer with word processing software - something that almost everyone in a developed country has.

So, how do you define yourself in the world of writing?

Create a short film that conveys your idea. 

Proof of concepts can take many forms.

There really is no rule - so long as you convey your concept you've done your job.

Some people have created fake trailers for their film, a sub 2 minute short that expresses the key concept of the feature, and from there they've gone on to make a feature.

Here're a couple of tips I'd suggest for any writers out there who want to create a proof of concept for their feature script. 

KEEP IT LESS THAN 3 MINUTES.

If you can't get your idea across in less than 3 minutes you're not telling your idea well.

Now, I'm guilty of this. 

My first proof of concept I created was 8 minutes long.

The proof of concept for my Page Awards winning script is 5 minutes long. 

I'm currently working on a new proof of concept for another feature - I created a pre-vis of that short film - and it came in at 5 minutes.

After reviewing it, I've since re-written it so that it will be just under 3 minutes when I shoot it properly.

WHY 3 minutes?

3 minutes is most people's attention span. 

Look at the world of pop-music. 

All pop songs are around the 3-minute mark. 

There're three types of short films - too long, far too long, and waaaaaay to long. 

Creating a 3-minute time mark to convey your concept forces you to CUT THE FAT. 

It forces you to focus on your CONCEPT, nothing else.

GET A GOOD DP AND A GOOD CAMERA.

One of the things that producers look at is production quality.

Did you shoot your proof of concept on an iPhone 7 or did you actually engage a DP (director of photography) and shoot it on a decent camera?

I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO CAN HELP MAKE MY PROOF OF CONCEPT.

It doesn't matter if you have a great creative circle of friends or not.

Here's how to create a proof of concept.

So long as you live in a city that has a film school, then you can do this.

You become the director/producer. 

You go to the film school and speak with the faculty there. 

Explain that you're looking to create a short film that is a proof of concept for a feature film.

You're looking for a good DP.

Start with the DP. 

DP's have all the contacts you will need.

Put your proposal to all the DP's that have recently graduated from that film school.

Some of the DP's will not get back to you, some will and won't be all that keen, others will be excited by your project.

Once you have a DP onboard you will need to find the rest of your crew.

The DP will have worked with others and will no doubt have a suggested list of people they'd like to work with. 

I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO CREATE A PROOF OF CONCEPT.

You'd be surprised how many people straight out of film school will be willing to work for free.

With that said, I've found from personal experience that if you pay everyone a nominal amount - as a token of appreciation - it goes down well. 

Everyone is aware that most people don't have large sums of money lying around to be thrown at making films.

But rather than saying, hey, do this for me for free, if you say, I'll pay you a small amount, your crew will be appreciative of the gesture. 

I've seen $40k films made for $2000 - where, if everyone was paid properly it'd cost $40k, but instead, the producer paid what they could. The film got made and was successful. 

I won't go into the details of the crew required to shoot a short film here - that deserves a post (or two) of its own. 

ALTERNATE BENEFITS OF CREATING A PROOF OF CONCEPT

So, let's just say you create a proof of concept of your feature film - but it still doesn't get picked up - what a total waste of time.

WRONG.

You can now use your proof of concept as a producing/directing sample.

Again, I've had personal experience from this.

I have a new feature film that has just been announced is part of a production pipeline - set to go into pre-production next year. 

I'm set to direct the feature - and when asked by the producers why I should be allowed to direct it, I showed them my proof of concept I had directed for my Page Award winner.

On the back of that proof of concept short film, the producers are happy to let me direct the new feature.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you’re having trouble getting your feature screenplays read – create a proof of concept short film that’s less than 3 minutes.

You’ll be surprised how many doors it will open for you. 

Here's a link to my short film proof of concept for my Page Award winning script.

If the link doesn't work copy and paste this into your browser.

https://youtu.be/-ZtzrjddBwg

SCREENWRITING FUNDAMENTALS #15 HOW TO WRITE DESCRIPTION

This is a really important aspect of screenwriting that is far too often overlooked. 

How do you write the description of a scene?

The very first thing to remember is that you're writing word pictures.

You must only describe what can be seen. 

This is TAKEAWAY #1 for you today.

Go to your script, go through your descriptions in each scene and go line by line.

Highlight any description that CAN be SEEN on the screen.

Highlight anything that CANNOT be seen on the screen.

Now, go through and re-write all the things that cannot be seen on the screen in a way that can be seen.

Example...

You might have written, 'Michelle is unhappy with the way John spoke to her.'

There's no way for the audience to SEE that sentence on the screen. So, essentially, that's a wasted sentence.

Now think how you could visualize that...

‘John's comment causes Michelle to squeeze the glass she's holding so much that it cracks.’

That's an action that we can see on screen. 

OKAY...

Now that you've gone through your script and identified all the non-image moments and changed them to something that can be SEEN on-screen, now you need to look at how to focus attention in a scene.

How do you let the director know where you want the focus to be in your scene?

This is where amateurs write camera directions such as - 'The camera follows Michelle's hand as she grabs the knife."

It's superfluous to write 'The camera follows...' - just write what it is that you want the camera to focus on...

'Michelle grabs the knife.' - is fine - but it doesn't imply a close up on the hand grabbing the knife. 

To bring the focus onto Michelle's hand, try something like this...

A sickle-shaped scar on the back of Michelle's hand stretches as she grips the knife tightly.

Here, we have to be close enough to see the scar on the back of Michelle's hand.

BUT, here's the thing... you should only be directing a close-up if it's important to telling the story.

If there's no reason to show a close-up on Michelle's hand clutching the knife, then don't do it.

What you need to do is identify the IMPORTANT ACTIONS in each scene.

Once you have done that - then you need to write your descriptions so they serve to describe these actions. 

That's TAKEAWAY #2 today... 

Go through each scene in the script you're working on and look at the actions you currently have. 

Now go through and start removing some of the actions. 

If you can remove an action and the scene still makes absolute-perfect sense - then odds are you don't need that action and you can delete it. 

The most common mistake I see amateurs make when writing description is to start wide THEN find the focus of their scene.

Example...

Say you have an outdoor scene.

The focus on your scene is one person palming a small note to someone else. 

The wrong way to describe the scene is to start out wide and describe the area where the moment takes place. I.e...

"The neon lights illuminate Times Square. Hundreds of people gather to bring in the new year.  It's a medley of chaos, people singing, shouting, arguing, kissing. 

Among the mess, Mike palms a small note to John. The exchange goes unnoticed."

In this example, we started by describing a wide-shot of the environment. 

We have then come into the focus of the scene - the palming of a note. 

I would recommend you write this scene in reverse order. 

Start with the note being passed off to John, THEN describe the environment. 

WHY do it this way?

If you start with the focus of your scene and work your way out, it anchors your scene. 

We know immediately what it is that we're focusing on in the scene.

If you do it the other way - start wide, describe the setting, then come into the focus of the scene, there's a moment where the audience isn't sure what they're being asked to focus on. 

When this happens there's a moment of disconnect between the film and the audience.

Remember that it's your job to engage your viewer from the first line and to keep them locked to your story until the end. 

The best way to do this is to not allow them a moment where they can wander off, mentally speaking. 

If you write a scene by zeroing in on the focus on the scene from the first word, then your audience will be engaged from the get-go. There'll be no moment for their minds to wander. 

THE TAKEAWAY #3

Go to the script you're working on now and go through scene by scene.

Identify the MAJOR ACTION taking place in each scene.

Start by describing that action first. 

Once that is done, THEN write the rest of the scene. 

You'll find that the scene is anchored better, there'll be less ambiguity and your reader/audience will know exactly what the focus of each scene is.